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My Name is Rhonda. I am a Ding Dong.

Have you ever found yourself in the “exact change” lane of the tollbooth with no change and cars piling up behind you? That’s the place I found myself today on the way to Canada. This is not a tollbooth with a human. It’s the kind where you drive up, throw the change in, and drive away. This was actually the second stress-filled moment of the day.

For Fathers Day, Tom and the kids bought me a Garmin. When I questioned Tom about this he said, “It’s really a gift for me because now I can relax when it’s your turn to drive instead of being asked if we’re headed the right way every time I fall asleep.”

The Garmin, which I have named Zsa Zsa, was installed into my car before our trip today.

 I really don’t think that “Zsa Zsa” is a classy name. But then again, I’m no woman. (Nathan, typing the story in for mom who is driving, has added his own commentary for your enjoyment.)

As I see it...

Zsa Zsa successfully directed us out of our neighborhood, but from there she and I had our first disagreement. In my mind, we should be heading to Kingsport…yet she directed us toward Bristol, and no matter which rode I turned onto she kept try to turn us back toward Bristol. For those of you who are NOT “Directionally Challenged,” you now understand why my family bought me a Garmin. (In my defense, we do go through Kingsport when heading North…to Michigan.) Unfortunately we go through New York to cross into Canada. But I digress…

After 2 hours of successful driving we found ourselves sitting in the “exact change” lane of the toll both and I had no change in site. My sidekick, young and handsome

 tall, good-looking, best son she has ever had and the one that is typing for her while she is driving and adding anything I think is best,

son, Nathan, had just fallen into a deep sleep. Being the kind, considerate mother that I am

 Only sometimes,

I did not want to wake him up. But I was beginning to panic.

Thankfully, we were still in the South when this incident took place. Therefore, nobody honked and nobody yelled nasty things. They just sat there behind me saying, “Oh she can’t find change…bless her heart. (For you northerners, “bless her heart” translates: “you stupid idiot.”)

I saw no alternative, I awakened Nathan loudly by saying, “Nathan! Nathan! I NEED MY PURSE!

 Now imagine yourself in the most perfect place in a dream. Then imagine someone not yelling, but screaming, “NATHAN, NATHAN!” It’s quite annoying. Then you wake up to a flurry of panic and distress. Believe me, you can feel it in the air.

After 5 or 6 groggy seconds (which seemed like an hour to me), the change was found and we passed through the tollbooth.

My name is Rhonda. I am a ding dong. (To be continued…I’m sure.)


About rlbreflections

Born and raised in Muskegon, Michigan. Graduated from Oakridge High School - Go Blue! Married a University of Michigan grad - Go Blue! Back in college full-time at East Tennessee State University - Go Blue!

5 responses »

  1. How hilarious . . . we were thinking of buying a Garmin this week before heading out on vacation Friday. It has been wonderful to ready your delightful blog. Where does the time go.

  2. Oh my, what a great story!! Hope your adventures continue to be as funny as this.

  3. Awesome blog entry. Love the double-author angle here. Love the laugh! 🙂

    And you’re not the only one to not see eye-to-eye with your GPS. Hopefully you and Zsa Zsa can form some sort of agreement though, and get to most places with little fanfare. 🙂

  4. Joanne Fredericks

    Rhonda, I loved this posting, particularly the Northern translation of “Bless her heart.”
    If you decide to form a “Ding Dong Society” I would like to become a charter member.

  5. Pingback: My Name is Rhonda. I AM a Ding Dong. (Part II) « Confessions of a Former Cheerleader

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